I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
