Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Your cock deserves a montage
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
