you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
there is glitter all over my balls
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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