dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
