you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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