Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
