Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize