No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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