Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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