This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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