Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My hand turned me down
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Randomize
