I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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