When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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