the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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