tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
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