Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just had sex on a roof
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
