your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
