I just saw a hot homeless man
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
