i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
