my phone needs a breathalizer
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
