So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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