is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
