What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
