That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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