how do flat chested girls get laid?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
