I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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