The maid of honor just puked.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
