He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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