How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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