i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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