WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
