Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
