So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
