Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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