I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
