Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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