My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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