Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
