Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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