At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
