dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
