I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
