I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
True strength comes from lack of pants
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
