If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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