The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
