If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
