Nicole vs. Life
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
