hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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