The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
