She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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