We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
