plz talk dirty to me
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
