There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
