So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Drunk is a universal language darling
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
