Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
