I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
