Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
