flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Found the puke drawer
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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