Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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