Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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