and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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