Duck Duck Cougar?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
