evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
