Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
