Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just pynch a tree in the face
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Randomize
