I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
