i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
