Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
