My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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