You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
